Oh Hai Dark Legend… It’s been a while. Whatcha been up to?
Ok… truth is, the last i heard about the script was a little postcard that said it had arrived at it’s destination and at some point within four months they’d either get back to me on it’s further development or return the script with/without feedback depending on what they feel about it. That was two months ago… which i’m guessing might be a good sign… right?
Let’s look at the basic facts:
- If it really sucked it would have come back by now
- If it were garbage i wouldn’t have ever finished it
- I wouldn’t have laboriously edited it down to minute detail either.
- And i wouldn’t have cut it down into an hours oratorio piece or even considered the radio adaptation
Anyway. I may have to do this some day so below i’ve written a general, mostly spoiler free synopsis of each episode… sort of just to waste a bit of time while i’m bored, without money and any hope of getting out of here for the next few weeks.
Episode 1: A Town Called Malice
Welcome to Hell… AKA Worton, A place so despicable, horrible and disgusting it’s makes a rubbish dump look like a nice place to live. It’s also somewhere East of Preston, South of Lancashire, North of Manchester… and on the Welsh Border. (Figure that one out… bet you can’t!) In this episode we meet the main players: Will, Joe, Doug and Harris… as well as a few of the others who’ll be dragged down before the story ends.
technically speaking this is the second Episode 1 as my first attempt at it i wasn’t really sure where the story was going or who these people were. As you’d expect from a first episode this is simply just an introduction. Yes… the seeds are sown for later on, but really i wasn’t to concerned about the general overall arc here, just getting to know the characters and what the whole things about.
It’s one of my top 3 for the entire series and i think it sets up the remaining story well… and has a few shits and giggles doing it along the way.
Episode 2: The Sound of Silence
This is where it really begins… alliances have been forged and the players have taken their position on the board. There are secrets, lies and echoes of a past long forgotten. There’s also a funeral which forms a major part of the episode. It’s darker and a bit more serious than the first.
The rules of TV writing state that the first episode should hook them and the second should reel them in. That’s what i was aiming to do here… in other words get the story going. I could have integrated most of the important stuff from this into episode 1 but then i thought it might be a bit heavy to all take in one go, which essentially makes this and the preceding episode a very loose two parter.
You won’t realize it but this one’s the key to some of the twists… especially the one involving Dan. The clues are there in this one but i’m not telling you what they are coz i don’t want to spoil it.
This is also the episode where we meet Alex for the first time… albeit very briefly.
Episode 3: Thunderwing
What has to be the strangest of them all: Thunderwing! Named after a T Rex B-Side no less. It might be strange but some very important stuff happens here… especially involving Eliza and Randy as we start to see their actions having some sort of impact on the others.
I based a little bit of this episode on something i was told way back when i was first writing it. Apparently, there was some weirdo going around terrorizing people whilst wearing various different costumes like a Panda Suit and a Wedding dress. Naturally i adapted this to suit Dark Legend and threw in an awesome fight scene for the resolution.
Will falls in love, Randy gets hospitalized and Eliza decides it’s time to start flexing her breasts… literally.
It’s one of the more humourous episodes i feel… and i think that’s needed because of what’s going to happen next…
Episode 4: The Blood of Princes
It’s time to learn something important here… something that plays a very big part in the ending. For that i needed to introduce a character who would be able to reveal this but not much else. That’s where this episode comes in. We’ve got used to the characters and the whole idea of the story and now it’s time for things to start getting nasty.
Randy’s character takes a dramatic turn here and what happens here will affect him in the future. Eliza and one other character spend the night together (How could he!) and we also learn who she lost her virginity to (It’s actually quite shocking!) We learn a bit more about Joe this episode as well (Including the fact that when it comes to bereaved girlfriends he’s worse than Randy for trying to get his leg over… and infinitely more successful at it!) Theres also a cameo appearance from Professor Robert Winston. As for the ending… well you won’t believe it!
This is the only episode not to be named after a song title/lyric.
Episode 5: Bad Moon Rising
I think this was by far the most difficult one to write, largely because a lot of stuff needed to happen. Firstly there needed to be a resolution to the events of the previous episode without glossing over anything or copping out. There has to be a reason for everything and that’s what this one is really. Connecting the events of the previous four episodes and driving them towards Episode 6’s game changer.
I think with the second version of this one i’ve more or less got it right. The first version of this went completely off the rails because the cliffhanger wasn’t resolved properly and i didn’t really have enough material to fill it but i had too much to fit in to dump it. It needs a bit of work to get it up to the standards of the others, but i don’t think it’s the weakest episode. It’s not going to be in the top three but it’s getting there.
As for the final act… well i think you might well cry at this one as at least one recurring character is going to die. You’ll know it’s coming but when it happens and with the music i’ve selected to go along with it, everything’s going to look quite tragic and upsetting. Also… the person dieing works out something really important (which you’ll also probably work out from earlier information). And before you can even wipe the tears away this ones going to traumatize you with something really horrible as another character gets a bit of karma in a very nasty, brutal and horrific way And somebody locks themselves in a cupboard.
Episode 6: Out of Nothing at All
The mid-point and this is where i put the game changer. The surviving characters, battered, beaten and demoralized now face their biggest challenge so far. I don’t want to give anything away as this is another of my top 3. Needless to say there are many, many deaths in this one and a devastating climax for one major character. Everything really builds to the massive cliffhanger at the end…
Episode 7/8 In The Land of The Pig/The Final Crack of Dawn
A year has passed since the events of the previous episode… needless to say things aren’t going well as episode 7 starts with some killer Telletubbies and a quick visit to HMP Worton to visit prisoner 1025…who’s going to have escaped by the end of the episode.
These are primarily intended to show what’s going to happen if the Graffe aren’t beaten… and it isn’t pleasant. But there’s also new characters to get to know, old ones to keep the story going… and Alex is back to stay! If you’ve missed the first half you can still jump on here and things will all make sense.
Episode 9: No Angel Born Hell
A new Girlfriend for one character spells an awful lot of trouble. The title comes from American Pie: “And as i watched him on the stage, my hands were clenched in fists of rage. No Angel Born in Hell, could break that satan’s spell.
Episode 10: We Don’t need another Hero
Wrapping up a loose end in this one. Someone you’ve thought long gone is about to make a return… and old problems are about to resurface. This one’s all about the newer characters and how they’re coping with the impossibility of it all. One character ends up in a cage and three others are going to die… and a lot of people are about to be made homeless as well.
Episode 11/12: The Impossible Dream
So in the end it all boils down to this: One Epic Battle… One final clash of heroes and villains and the fate of humanity hanging on the outcome. But there are still secrets and revelations to be revealed, some truly heartbreaking scenes and finally… A LEGEND RISES!
Obviously i can’t tell you much about the last few episodes but episode 11 is definitely my favourite and it features a battle that i’m hoping will rival the siege of Gondor in Return of the King.
And that’s that… well apart from the sequel… which includes two returning characters, A dolphin in a top hat and an exploding pub. Don’t say i didn’t warn you. And as for the charity single idea… err…
The very thought of Jonathon Harris singing a duet with Orville the Duck is enough to give anyone nightmares!