John Lennon and the Ketchup Dwarf

Now you would think that a world famous building would be easily identifiable. In any normal city this would be the case. But I’m not talking about any normal city here. I’m talking about Liverpool, a city where normal rules don’t necessarily apply.

I’m getting way ahead of myself here… Before I get to Liverpool let’s talk Lancaster…

   As it’s less than an hour away and only a tenner by train, it’s quite surprising that Lancaster is a place I’ve never been to. It’s an interesting place that’s for sure…

Now to get to Lancaster I had to go through Preston (If you don’t know where Preston is it’s a small place behind Blackpool…) One thing surprises me though. Preston train station is abnormally large. And when I say it’s abnormally large I mean it’s big. From the train it looked to be about the same size as Manchester Piccadilly. How this is possible I haven’t a clue but there you go.

After Preston… passing through the spot where in my fictional universe there’s a former industrial town by the name of Worton 😉 (If you’ve no idea what I’m on about then check the minisite at the top of the page) It’s Lancaster. Lancaster train station is smaller than Preston by a country mile, then again so are most stations in the country.

Lancaster Train station is nothing special. Then again, neither is the first impression you get of the place. Outside the train station it looks just like you’re average Lancashire/Yorkshire/Pennine/Peak District town with tall, imposing yellow stone buildings lining long semi narrow streets. It’s not really very distinctive.  This is symptomatic of the whole place. It’s got no real distinctiveness to it. Of course, there is the Castle and The Ashton Memorial (The big domed thing you can see from the M6) but they aren’t exactly unique structures- The Castle could really be anywhere and the Ashton Memorial is incredibly similar to libraries, concert halls and a lot of other buildings across the country. It’s hardly unique.

Once you get over this fact, Lancaster’s an all right kind of place. There’s some good shops and it’s not to hard to find your way around once you get your bearings. There’s even an old fashioned kind of sweet shop selling all kinds of old fashioned sweets such as cinder toffee, sherberts, large multicoloured lollypops… and nipples:

Either that or they’re mushrooms… but i prefer nipples

There’s also a nice museum that demonstrates what you can actually do effectively with a small collection and a limited budget… (I apologize… That’s my degree talking!)

The most curious thing about Lancaster, however, was the Dwarf dressed as a Ketchup Bottle. I don’t know if he was advertising something or what but he was stood outside some hotel near the train station when I first passed and he was still there three hours later. I would have taken a picture but he was one of those Dwarfs that just looked like he’d attack if I did… And we all know what that looks like:

Oh and the fire alarm went off in Lancaster Train Station… and nobody moved… not sure if this is normal behaviour when this happens but still… Fortunately it was only some chav doing what chavs do best but if it had been real then rest assured that myself and every other passenger in that station would right now be grilling burgers and sausages in the fiery barbecue pits of hell.

Well… I survived the imaginary fire of Lancaster station in which every passenger was roasted alive, meaning I could embark on my next adventure: Liverpool.

Now, as an out of work Radio DJ, no trip to Liverpool would be complete without a visit to look at one of the most important places in the history of music. This place:

Now some of you (Beatles fanatics etc…) may have noticed a problem with this picture. Others may be, as i was, of the belief that it is the Cavern Club… especially as it says Cavern and has a statue of John Lennon next to it and the names of musicians etched into the brickwork.

Now the Beatles Fanatics are laughing. See that tiny writing above the door? It says the actual Cavern Club is opposite and this is the ‘sister pub’. If I’m honest I didn’t even notice the building opposite.  I was busy reading the names on the wall and taking pictures… of what turns out to be the wrong place.

But seriously… You stick a statue of Lennon (below) next to a building marked cavern… Where the cavern is supposed to be… what do they expect? I have a theory that this is all some scouse trickery to dupe unsuspecting fools into taking photo’s of the wrong building.

Other than that, the Liverpool sojurn was unremarkable really.

 

Now I hear that there’s an Exhibt on DNA at the Manchester Science museum and as I have a new railcard now i think i’ll take it for a spin…

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